Are you an artist even if you rarely pick up the paintbrush?
Weaving in some wisdom from abstract artist, sculptor and photographer Cy Twombly.
For as long as I can remember, art has been something that I’ve needed to do. Almost like breathing. Most evenings, you could find me at the painty table, playing with paints and markers and pastels in my art journal. It was my way to unwind from the 9 to 5; to ground; to come home to myself.
But recently, I haven’t been feeling that compulsion to create.
Instead, I’ve been floating through my days. I have a few anchors — writing every morning; my daily tarot and oracle draws; reading every day {sometimes, most of the day!}. But I don’t yet have a rhythm for my days.
I’ve been telling myself to take it easy, to not be so hard on myself. This is, for me, a liminal time. A period of significant change, as I ease into my new reality of a rather early semi-retirement.
I have been planning and working towards this day since years, and when I turned in my corporate laptop and access badge in August, I was absolutely thrilled!
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I spent the first month of semi-retirement at my childhood home, with my parents, sister and her two adorable daughters — if you’ve been visiting me in the studio for a while, you would have seen all the art and writing that emerged from that trip.
Once I returned, I decided to give myself a couple of months to ease into the freedom from routines and external structures. I had been frazzled and overwhelmed with the demands of a crazy busy job, and I needed to rest and take things easy without trying to figure out what comes next or running after a new set of goals.
I had imagined that I would spend a few hours at the painty table almost every day, but that hasn’t been the case. I just haven’t felt that strong pull to paint that I used to when I was struggling through the corporate life.
This doesn’t mean that I haven’t painted at all in the last two months. Looking at my habit tracker, I see that I have painted, on average, thrice a week. Now, that’s not too shabby!
And while a part of me knows that this is in all probability part of an adjustment process, there is a part of me that cannot help but worry.
What if this is the end of my art journey?
Dramatic, I know! And I wouldn’t blame you for thinking, “Girl, you still paint 3 to 4 times a week. What are you whining about?”
I get it, I do. AND I know there are others like me out there, who think that they have to paint every day, or write every day, or create every day; that if they are not, they are failing somehow. I know that many of us wonder:
Are you an artist even if you rarely pick up the paintbrush?
To those {including me} who wonder if they artists if they rarely create art, I want to offer this quote from the iconic abstract artist Cy Twombly:
“I'm not a professional painter, since I don't go to the studio and work nine to five like a lot of artists. When something hits me, or I see a painting, or when I see something in nature, it gives me a thing and I go for it. But I don't care if I don't go for three or four months. You know, when it comes it comes.”
CY TWOMBLY
I mean, he sometimes didn’t paint for 3 or 4 months? And still, he left behind an incredible body of work! And he most definitely was, and identified as, an artist.
I think what we often lose sight of is the fact that we have an entire lifetime in which to create. And while none of us know just how long we have on this beautiful earth, God willing it is many, many years.
So even if we go a few days, weeks, or months without creating, as long as we keep coming back to our creative practices, we will end up with our own incredible body of work.
This constant cycle of returning to our creative practice is, in itself, a form of consistency. It’s not the consistency expounded by productivity and business gurus, for sure, but that is a post for another time.
Let’s chat!
I love chatting with you in the comments or via e-mail. Here are a few questions to help us get the conversation rolling:
How do you define a consistent art/creative practice?
Do you struggle with a consistent, daily {or almost daily} art practice?
What brings you back to your creative practices?
If you’re on a sabbatical or are retired or semi-retired, how do you structure your days?
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Here'w what I've learned about the inconsistency of habit after retiring. When the pressure to squeeze in creative time was gone, it became very easy to say, "There's always tomorrow." Every tomorrow is a long, full, day of beautiful time and in my mind I'll spend it writing, or making art, or even completing creative projects around the house. But then I don't, because . . . there is always tomorrow. However, on the days I do create, it's often because I thought I would just do this little thing, 15 or 20 minutes. But of course, once I start, it lasts much longer.
I think the idea for creating some kind of consistent flow, is to schedule a short time (the way one does when still working another job). And instead of saying I have all day tomorrow, tell yourself you will just do one small thing, and if you don't feel like continuing, then there is all day tomorrow.
I find this works in many areas of life. I don't particularly like garden and yard chores this time of year (autumn in the U.S.). But I tell myself I'll just clean up and rake that one flower bed, or that small section of the yard. Once I start, I usually do much more than I planned.
It's like priming the pump.
For me consistent creative practice would be something I do monthly or weekly, but I would really love it to be daily. But I do struggle with it. I sometimes go months before I pick up a brush. Last time I think it was almost a year, and I didn't even know it was that long until saw the dates. It made me sad. What brings me back...I don't know really. The wanting of it? A new idea I have or a video/newsletter I saw?
I guess you can say I'm retired but too young to use that word. I'm chronically ill with Fibro, POTS, and an unidentified connective tissue disorder. My days revolve around what is happening from day to day, where my pain is at, if the brain fog is doing me. But I do want a consistent practice, I just need to figure out what that looks like.